Luke Heggie is an Australian stand up comedian who speaks with a hilarious blend of passive rage and cynicism. Heggie’s comedy reflects the various elements of life that he has to juggle, being a husband and father as well as a builder by trade and a comic by night. So it’s understandable that there are countless people that get on his nerves, and he isn’t afraid to tell us about them.
To learn more about Luke, I asked him these seven questions…
1) How does your day job affect your writing?
I work on building sites, so there’s no shortage of dickheads to write about. It’s a job I can walk around thinking about other things, muttering to myself, and generally working in my own head. It hinders me because I’m buggered by the time I get home, and have to force myself to stay awake to either go to a gig or write a bit.
2) What worries you?
Death by violence. I don’t too much care about anything else. If I manage to stay alive, I can feed my family, and I live in a country where it would be somewhat of an achievement to starve to death.
3) Are you open to change?
No. I don’t like change, unless it directly benefits me and no one else.
4) What do you wish people would stop doing?
Cross-breeding poodles just to create a cutesy name for dogs. Crunching passionfruit in their teeth. Wearing those shoes with the stupid separate toes. Putting on hats that ride low on the skull so they can tuck their ears in. Despite being an adult, getting offended (usually on someone else’s behalf) at someone like me swearing. I come from swearing. Serving up tomatoes at a dinner party with the corks still in, and expecting me to eat them. Searching vigorously for a cause to align themselves with in order to self-promote, riding mobility scooters at peak shopping times, using tissue box covers, putting a cutlery caddy on the table – what’s in your top drawer cockhead? Making a noise when they yawn. Putting one hand up on the wall at the urinal. and telling me what I can and can’t fucking say.
5) Is having children selfless or selfish?
Neither. Depends on the motive. If you preach that the world needs a new leader (like your child will be one day) to guide it through the future, then you’re probably a deluded pikey. If you’re one of those who preach that the world needs less people, then you’re probably infertile, and/or no one wants to be near you, let alone start a family with you.
6) Do you have a guilty conscience?
No I don’t. If I ever did anything wrong I might; I’m not an idiot. But it’s yet to happen that I have done something to feel guilty about.
7) Does anger ever hinder your comedy or writing?
If I’m angry at someone, I usually just go around and egg their house or car, and the issue is solved. I go for a quick run, and head home to write with a clear head. As a performer, I don’t bang the mic stand indignantly at social injustices, or get angry in general. By the time I get to a stage to say what someone has done to annoy me, I’ve usually settled the vendetta and let it go. I don’t care much for bottling anger. I’m a grown up.